Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
