take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
