the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
