You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
