It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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