His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
