the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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