I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We left the knife in your bed.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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