Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Drake has all the answers
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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