Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
