but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
