I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
