if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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