operation harelip BJ is a go
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
