You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
