what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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