4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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