I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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