the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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