Yo dont text me then not text me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
