maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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