I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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