I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
