guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize