There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Found the puke drawer
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
