she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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