I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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