Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
