I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
