I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
why is half of my head shaved?
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