soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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