He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
