So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
