apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
