Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
