dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
