When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
