Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize