Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
