Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize