R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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