Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
