if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
