Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
