I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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