He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize