I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
MIDGETS
????
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
