You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
