Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize