I think i sorta joined a cult last night
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And then my night got REAL pukey
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
