Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
