Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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