He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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