He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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