Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
