they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
