No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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