So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
