My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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