aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
